Sightless Love
by Sightless Platinum
Summary: Riku/Sora Riku/Shadow Riku. My take on the Secret Ending of KH. Rikus been trapped with heartless for almost two years before he escapes. Hes blind, and badly injured. Shadow Riku, one of Rikus creations, finds him and takes care of him.
1. Chapter One

By: Sightless Platinum  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy or Tarzan.  
  
*  
  
So cold, freezing, I hate the cold. . .I'm sick of it. I swear its killing me. Those icy shards of water piercing into my scarred skin as if it were attacking me. So cold. . . Being trapped with darkness for almost two years did this to me. But. . . I'm here now. . . searching for you. For someone I can't seem to remember. . .   
  
Icy cold wind lashes at my body, trying to smash me against the ground. . . But I wont bow to the wind. Never. But its hurts. . . The cold air and the water dripping from my lips. . . Why does the cold always seem to follow me? Why does it constantly nag at me? As if taunting me with some superior act. As if saying "I took something from you and you can't have it back!"   
  
I want to lash out at the air, and fight and beat it, as it abuses me further. But I don't. . . for my sanity, I don't. But the coldness is right. . . It took something from me. . .  
  
Where are you Sora? Why can't I find you? Why I can't see you anymore? I can't see those blue eyes sparkling brighter then the sky could ever be. I don't remember what it was like to be with you. To be by your side. I don't know how to laugh . . . or smile without you Sora. I just don't.   
  
When your gone. . . everything about me dies slowly. Like the coldness is killing me. . .And it hurts even worse, Sora. Oh God it hurts more then anything. Not to be able to see you in my mind. Not to be able to close my blind eyes and see you there whenever I want.  
  
I remember you though. . . I remember that we were friends, that we were always together.   
  
We never knew hate or fear or pain. I remember that so well.   
  
I remember your name. But I can't remember your face. . . your eyes. . . those soft words I know you whispered to me all those night before. . . I remember our dreams we made together. To go away from our prison island. I remember that. But why can't I remember YOU?  
  
I want to remember you so bad Sora. I'm sorry. I've tried so many nights and days, to remember those eyes that I know are blue like the ocean waves, like the sky on a clear summer afternoon that glowed like the sunset. So bright and full of life. But I can't see them anymore. . .  
  
I was alone for so long Sora. Trapped inside that dark place while monsters and little creatures fed off my skin and blood. And slowly drained my life away day by day. The teeth that sank into my flesh like vampire fangs, those cruel minds ripping away at my heart and soul, taking away everything I had left. . . They took away you Sora. And I'll take you back! I swear it!  
  
I'm trying to find you now. . .  
  
But they took away my eyes. . . the darkness embedded itself in my eyes hidden beneath a layer of cloth. It hurts. Even when covered, my eyes bleed. Tears of Blood, and pain and hate and revenge. I want it all. I want revenge. . . I want to hate and I want to cause pain. . .   
  
But there's something else I want to feel again. Love. . . happiness. . .   
  
But neither are down the path that I have chosen.   
  
I'm searching for you Sora. I may not be able to see those things around me anymore. But I'll find you. I swear it. I'll kill every last Heartless, every monster, every evil that stands in my way until I find you.  
  
Why?  
  
Because you reached for me.   
  
That day a few years ago. . . You reached for my hand. You tried to pull me away from the darkness that threatened to drown me.   
  
Only you Sora. Only you did. And I loved you. I fell in love with you that very day because you cared. And I cared so much for you as well. I wanted to protect you, take you away from all this darkness and evil that surrounded you because I didn't want to see that pure innocents in your eyes fade away is it did me. I remember all that Sora.  
  
I haven't forgotten that day, but why did I forget you?  
  
I swear I'll destroy everything that took you away from me, that made me forget. They deserve to die. They took away something that they shouldn't have. They crossed the line. I want to feel my blade stab into the warm flesh and feel their heartless body go limp. I want to hear them suffer, their cries, their moans, their pleas for mercy.   
  
And they shall receive none! For they do not deserve it! For they showed me no mercy. I will take away everything they have as they did me. And maybe. . .if I do that, I'll remember. I'll feel that love I had for you once more. And I'll be able to listen to you laugh and talk, be able to see your eyes and your smile.  
  
I'll take it all back.  
  
And this is what I've become. My lust for revenge and suffering, compelled all by love. So what exactly am I?  
  
I'm not evil. I don't kill innocents. I don't desire darkness as I did once before. I don't desire the destruction of all worlds. Or ultimate power. I protect the innocents. . . like the innocents that once reigned over your eyes and every actions. I want to protect that with all my heart because its beautiful. That sweet innocents that you lived by for so long, something that should never be taken away or abused. Something I will never have again. For I am to far gone. But you. . .Sora. I can protect you. I know I failed you so many times before, but I can now.  
  
I promise.   
  
I don't suppose that makes me noble though. I can't change the past, and the wrong things I have done. I can't just give up my hate towards these THINGS. I can't and I wont. I'm sorry. . .  
  
So what am I now? What have I been reduced to?  
  
Shadows.  
  
During those long days. . . or nights in that place of heartless. While the heartless used me as food, it came to me. That luminous being. . .and those dark cold eyes. It said to me. . . "Take the powers of Light and Dark. . .use them." At least thats what I think it said.   
  
I was on the brink of insanity when it came. I wanted to die, and I was hoping with all that was left of me that those creatures would just finish me off and get it over with. To end the endless torture they condemned me too. . . That I condemned myself to. I did this for you. To prove how sorry I was. . . and I am. . . But thats when I remembered something Sora. . . you reached for me.   
  
When I woke. . . I had the power to protect you. My true powers. . .Shadow.  
  
The Keyblades of Light and Darkness. The Shadow Keys. Together, I'll use this power to protect and to kill. . . as I was meant to do.  
  
But why didn't you come after me? I know. . . I deserved it. You left me to what I had sentenced myself to. I wasn't worth saving. And I don't blame you. I wasn't. . .and I'm still not. I don't want you risking your life for me. And I never want you to. . .ever. But I'm sorry. . .I must see you again . . .I must. I'll find you. . .   
  
"Riku. . . ?"  
  
That voice. . . it sounds like mine. . . so like mine. . .   
  
I want to open my eyes and see who it is. But I can't for my eyes are sightless.   
  
Something warm touched my face. Oh God the warmth felt so good. I gasped, and whimpered. The sudden intake of air attacking my bruised lungs. But it felt so good. . .the hand stroking my cheek, and brushing back my soaking wet hair.   
  
Heaven against the abyss of raining ice around me. But my instinct told me to lash out. . . to kill whoever this was. To use my powers and destroy this person who touched me with such gentleness and caring.   
  
I felt a body press against me. . . so warm and alive. Filling the frozen bones with such exotic heat that I had longed for. And I never wanted this person to let go. Oh God. . .please don't let him let go.   
  
"I know what you feel Riku. . . for I am you. I understand you, the pain and the suffering you feel constantly. Because I feel it too."  
  
Warm wetness slips down my cheeks. Tears of Blood.   
  
Those words he spoke to me. They break me into a thousand pieces and I shattered against the soaking wet ground. Clutching at the man who held me.   
  
He understands me. . .   
  
"Let me hold you brother. . ."  
  
And I began to tremble. From the rain. . .from the heat. . . from the words he whispered into my ear and the pain that all racked my body. I wanted to die all over again. . . I wanted to die in this persons arms. I never wanted him to let go. I wanted to stay there. . forever. And melt the pain and suffering away until nothing was left but me in his arms. . . and I forgot you once more Sora. . . I'm sorry. . . 


	2. Chapter Two

By: Sightless Platinum  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy or Tarzan.  
  
*  
  
I laid upon something soft. . .something I had not laid upon in a while. . .a bed. . . Silk sheets curled about my body, confining me away from the rest of the world. Something was on top of me too. . . If it weren't for the numbness I felt all over I would have thought it were the covers. . . Something warm pressed to my cheek, and the only thing I could do was groan. No wards came, just a low sound from the bottom of my throat between pain and heaven.  
  
It went to my other cheek, and I leaned slightly into the touch, but barely moved. . .   
  
Something heavy WAS on top of me. I stirred my entire body, and that s when it hit me. The unmistakable feel of such glorious warmth against my sensitive skin. Dry cloth against my body and pure warmth like a summer day back home. . .   
  
I felt like the sun shone down upon me a thousand times and I loved it. Yet all I could do was whimper, and let the soft hand stroke my face. I wont to open my eyes but that voice whispered into my ear . . . yes he sounded so much like me. . .   
  
"Don't Riku-kun. Don't open your eyes. Please. . ." Slender hands slipped into my scared ones. My hands that had been broken before. . .and broken again. Ashamed of the scars that ran from my fingertips to my palms, yet he traced each one carefully, as if fascinated by them.  
  
I didn't want to argue or order him to stop. I was tired of fighting. Tired of fighting the Darkness that threatened me. . tired of fighting the fear the drove me away from all living things. I don't have the strength anymore to do it. I just wish. . . I wish someone would just. . .hold me fore a while. Keep me safe. . . protect me so I could rest. . . like he offered me now.   
  
I give up . . I just want to sleep for a long . . . long time. . .  
  
It was torture when my eyes opened or moved. But I so badly wanted to see who it was that had saved me from such agony. I wanted to ask his name but couldn't. My voice hurt. So I just obeyed and entwined my fingers with his.   
  
My body feels sick and weak. . . the cold does that. It pushes its way into your skin and embeds itself into your bones and slowly eats you and kills you, that paralyzes you when you wake from the world of sleep because you know it's there.   
  
But I didn't care, I felt safe, and protected from all the monsters and demons that haunted me constantly. I feel as if everything has left me alone . . . even if its only for a little while. Because when that smooth body laid against me, so lite I almost didn't feel him, I had that peace and tranquility I needed so much. I could feel the warmth he radiated as he pulled the covers over us and the solitary of the wall of blankets around me.   
  
"Sleep Riku. I will watch over you." He leaned over and whispered in my ear. My body shivered, his warm breath tickling my neck where teeth and sank into my skin so many times. . . It felt good.   
  
I was safe. . .   
  
The soft hand trailing down my chest, and that warmth he spread throughout me, almost as if he cared. . . but I know he didn't. It's easily to trick ones mind by such pleasures. But I knew. . . No one could possibly care for a being such as I, who can't even stand the pouring rain that thundered in distance.   
  
But there was only him. The faceless being whom said he was ME. And who had called me brother.  
  
That gentle hand came to rest upon my lower stomach, his leg draped over mine, his face still so close to mine. Laying against my shoulder, his breathing soft against my cheek. I wanted to moan and whimper but I had no idea why.   
  
I let my head roll to the side, my chin resting against his forehead.   
  
Such little acts. . and so much comfort from them. I wanted more. . .but I didn't know of what. I wanted to beg him not to stop, but I didn't know how. I wanted him to be as close to me as possible, and I didn't care who he was. . .  
  
I'd ask him later of what his name was. . . I was tired. . . And the darkness that swirled about my vision reached out to me, bringing me to the edge of my fear, and the nightmares began once more. Of those horrid creatures that stalked me with glowing eyes and bodies of night. Crawling along the ground like a panther stalking its prey. Surrounding me. . . and attacking.   
  
Except in my dream they do not die. And I'm knocked to the ground and forced to endure their torture.  
  
I awoke screaming and sobbing as I always do. I couldn't go back to that! I wouldn't! I'd rather die then be fed upon like I was! Even in my dreams they try to kill me. Why can't they leave me alone?   
  
. . . Because I hunt them.   
  
I'm torn between two things I want. To be left alone, and to kill them all.   
  
My hatred towards them is greater then the fear. But why can't I be alone right now? With this man who is frantically trying to calm me down, crying for me to stop.  
  
I realized, my fists where pounding into his chest. . . I was attacking him.   
  
I lurched away. A sudden pang of guilt hitting me in the stomach. I scrambled, and backed myself into a corner, and began sobbing harder. What had I done?  
  
I attacked the one person who has shown me any hint of kindness in years. I hurt him.   
  
I began shaking, small trembles then uncontrollably. I hurt him. I hurt him. I hurt him. It was my fault. What the hell was I doing? Why? . . . why does violence eight over my actions? Why do I feel the need to destroy all living things around me. . . ?  
  
Arms suddenly embraced me. Drawing me forward against the mans form, my face pressed into his bare chest. "Riku, please. . .don't cry. Don't cry. Its just me." He began stroking my long platinum hair. The hair the I remember had grown long and tasseled, I remembered becoming so upset at how much I knew I had changed that I slashed it off with my blade. I remember trying to hide my scars behind the long coat I wore, and the gloves upon my once broken fingers.   
  
I could feel my blood pouring down his chest, could feel the sticky substance in my fingers. My blood. . .my life. Him. . . "Who are you?"I choked out.  
  
He pushed me back. . . only alittle. To look down into my face I suppose. Slender fingers traced the curve of my cheek, wiping the tears of blood away. "I have no name. . .I am you."  
  
He was me. . . He was me. He was ME. Oh god. "I'm sorry. . . I'm sorry."  
  
Oh god I was so sorry. I hurt him, I attacked him, and he had done nothing to me  
  
"Shhh," The soothing whispered against my cheek, the soft touches he caressed me with. God he was intoxicating me. I could feel it. My breath becoming harder. My lungs burning. I felt his lips upon me, so soft, and warm and gentle, grazing over my cheek, kissing those sweet tears of blood away from my face. "Don't cry. I'm here."  
  
He cared. . .   
  
I wanted nothing more right then, then for him to kiss me, and make all the pain and fear I felt slip away. To be in the pure heaven that he offered me within his arms. Unconsciously I tilted forward, begging almost him. A whimper in my voice. Pleading him to take me away.   
  
Slowly his lips traced ever so lightly against mine. Gasping at the sudden wave of warmth spreading over me, my lips parted and pressed upon his bottom lip. Just one soft, breath taking kiss, and I wanted him.   
  
I was vaguely aware that he was picking me up, laying me back down upon the soft bed. His warm body pressed on top of mine, his breathing against my cheek. My head lays back against the pillows, his lips pressing so lightly against mine, his tongue flicking across my bottom lip, asking for entrance. And I give it freely. My arms limply wrapped about his neck. Hands gently exploring. . . skin against skin. No more. . . no more pain. Only those wonderful hands that touched me with such care, traveling down my chest, my stomach. . .  
  
"Azrael!" my hips jerked sobs rocking my body, begging for mercy. The name screamed from my lips unknown and meaningless until that moment. My arms tightening around his neck. "God. . . Azrael." I moaned, burying my face into his shoulder.   
  
His breath against my ear, whispering soft reassurances that meant nothing to me. Slender fingers torturing me, making me shake, and beg and cry for more. He was teasing me, such lite touches against my heated skin. "Don't do this to me. . . please." I moaned.  
  
He wanted me to plead, he wanted me to ask for it. A soft kiss to my lips was my only answer, muffling my sharp cries, his body pressing me firmly against the bed as I jerked in response to his touch.  
  
And I stopped thinking completely until my body gave away and peaceful slumber that overcame me. 


End file.
